Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Fall is Here

I'm not quite sure how God makes this happen - but my internal clock KNOWS that it's Fall. With a house full of company last week, long hours filled with laughter, grandgirls playing, cuddling, cooking, reconnecting with kids and having a grand time - and the whole time my body was screaming.... ..."SLEEP!!! GIVE ME MORE SLEEP!!"

Now, house quiet, company gone, a refrigerator full of grandgirl masterpieces - and smudges on the floor, walls, beds to make, towels to fold, dust to capture before it turns magically into bunnies under my couch; and all I want to do is sleep....and I have so much MORE to do too!!

It may be S.A.D., and I may be sad, but it's so funny that it's still 90 outside, there's lots of available sunlight, I'm out in it as much as possible (and still accomplishing things). I even walked yesterday evening (gotta keep those endorphins going), in the almost coolness of dusk, the full one and a half mile with Abbey the Wonderdog in tow, and STILL - all I want to do is sleep!!

OK God...this is YOUR body, YOUR mind - and I pray spiritual warfare against the evil one that wants me to climb into a hole for the next 5 months... so please, as I surrender my will to You, take over and fill me with things of YOU, create in me NEW chemicals that will make up for any loss of daylight, fill my calendar and keep me occupied so I don't miss the early morning coolness, and the green leaves on trees, and the late afternoon sunshine - high up in the sky. Keep my eyes set firmly on YOU, and the things that YOU are doing in me, and through me, and show me ways that I can serve, to be Your hands and feet in this new neighborhood where you placed us,  community where we live, in our church. I need You to give me boldness as I strive to reach out and seek the lost, to build relationships with women who have given up on You, who have not walked with You, who need a healing touch, a friend in Jesus. Thank You for the friendships I have IN You that have blessed my life...friends "here, near and far away" that encourage me, pray for me when I'm down, listen to Your Holy Spirit and pray for me when I don't even know that I need prayer...and help me to pray for them in the same manner. Help me see answered prayers, in my life, and in theirs!! Help me to see little ways to pray daily for things I don't know; the tired woman at the market, the crying child in the restaurant, the accident on the side of the road, the ambulance speeding by. Make my heart draw close to You, so I can rest in the moment - and hear Your heart beat. Commit Your words to memory in my aging brain (which is often in a fog - compliments of zyrtec), and continue to help me to learn the names of new people that You bring to cross my path...so that I can effectively show them that their friendships matter to me, because they matter to You. (in Your name...amen...)

Well, I didn't think that this would be a prayer, that this would be a cry of my heart....but it is. I don't want to slip into winter's weariness, I want to LIVE through the celebration and create joy around me! I want to be a light in darkness - figuratively and spiritually!!

I trust Him to do it...and I will do my part - do drag myself out of bed early-ish, get outside and walk regularly - no matter what the weather is doing - and make it back into the Y for exercise in other ways, and to keep a joyful outlook on life - no matter what my brain is trying to convince me to do (because I know it lies to me...I read that in a book last year - "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" by Dr. Daniel Amen).  If I want to bake, bake I will, but I'll be a good neighbor about it and share - instead of keeping it all here - another way I can bless those that He has put around me.

I'm actually looking forward to fall, and even winter now!! Let the party begin!! : )

- marina