Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Chapter 3....and an overflowing life...er...hmmm...no...

no...that would be an overflowing TOILET. yes, i really wrote those words here on my blog. :)

see, Miss Ziva (who is 20 months old) tore the toilet paper off the roll while big sister Miss Eliora (almost 3) was going to the bathroom. Eliora dutifully told me about it, so I asked if she would please clean up the mess. and she did. by putting ALL the toilet paper that was on the floor (i don't even KNOW how much it was!) in the toilet, and flushing. at least twice, as the water flowed up and over.

so yes, it's true. you can hear about toilets overflowing right here from my kitchen table.

at least today.

there's been a lot of other really funny, sad, silly and frustrating moments in the past few days, and of course, i should have been making notes along the way - because they have.all.left.my.mind.now.

on to Chapter 3 in "You're Already Amazing" by Holley Gerth (which is on sale if you go to the web site for the "Bloom" book club - only $9! and free shipping if you order 2 books!! such a deal!!)

SO, i thought i'd qualify my comment, since some of you actually KNOW the women i co-lead with - and KNOW that what i said is totally true!! Joyce is gifted in so many ways - and humor is a wonderful way that she is able to lead our Wed. morning DOK class "Focusing on Family". Kaylene (the actual leader, Joyce and I get to assist in so many ways!) is a gifted teacher, and we DO all hang on her every word. She knows God's Word, has a lot of great stories to tell (with wisdom and humor), and is the pastor's wife and mom to some pretty amazing people in the Christian community around these parts of KY (well, lean a little closer to Louisville and Southeast Christian Church, and Kyle Idleman is really well known, as well as her 2 worship leading son-in-laws!).

And then there's me. I'm sorta the black sheep - or THE ONE He left the others for to go and find me (and don't get me wrong - I'm SO glad He found me!!). So my approach is...well...different. He found me (gosh, over 30 years ago now!) very broken, and from that broken-ness He has grown me. I'm still broken...in many NEW ways...and He is still shining through and spilling out of all those fractured places! And THAT'S where I come from!

So, I speak from the worldly-experienced side of the rail-road tracks. From where God has brought me in my life; out of abuse into healing; out of self-destruction into worthiness; out of the darkness into light. I share from my heart what He has taught me, what He is teaching me, but it's neither funny or charming. I need to learn to be ok with that...and stop worrying what other women think of it. I just want to be used by Him, however He sees fit.

I want to make the most of every opportunity, for HIS glory!

OK - on to Chapter 3's entry:


Another good chapter, and great conversation to go along with it.
I don’t know if it’s odd to find myself in the middle here? I’m totally comfortable at being broken – only finding confidence in that “in my weakness He is made strong” – yet I get caught up in what others think! ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN. (ugh). When asked to fill in for our class I always feel like I’m the heavy one – (not just physically!! but spiritually!) – one co-leader is super-naturally funny and has tons to share through her God’s gift of humor; one is the Pastor’s wife – and we wait with baited breath to hear what she says; and then there’s me – even when I share what I prayerfully KNOW God’s led me to share – I feel like a flop.
WHY DOES THAT MATTER SO MUCH?
It’s not so much that I am (or am not) who they think I am, I’m confident and comfortable with who He has made me; but I want to know that someone else thinks that’s ok. (is that weird?)
I’m afraid this chapter is leaving me hungry to get the answers that I hope will come down the road!!
Thanks for being “real” ladies!!