Thursday, May 24, 2012

How I REALLY Feel...

In response to today's post from The Faith Barista, Bonnie Gray:

Oh Bonnie! How timely!

We found out yesterday that DH didn’t get a job within the company…they felt he was overqualified, and went on to say he’s overqualified where he is!

We love life here, but were looking forward to a change, new scenery, and the chance to have more time together. He’s been working 7 days a week, nearly EVERY week, since he took this job 2+ years ago. I know he’s tired of it…and I am too!

That job change represented not being responsible for day to day operations, so he would have a Monday to Friday job. Weekends off! But it wasn’t meant to be. Not yet anyways.

I’m surprised at my relief of not moving, and surprised at my sadness of not getting to move! How can that be?

I’m happy to get to stay at a church we love, where we are involved, and I have a volunteer title and we both get to lead, and I’m sad to not get to go someplace new, meet new folks, grow in our marriage and ministry together.
I’m startled that for all his hard work and accolades that he didn’t get this job! I’m hurt for him! And to make matters worse (insult to injury?) he got called in at 3am to help solve a problem! And yet he is still honored that God gifted him this way, and people call when things need fixing.

I’m perplexed. Sigh.

So thanks for writing this and putting it out there today. I’m taking notes of my symptoms (feeling ungrateful and worn out, and a little emotionally flat-lined) and I won’t ignore them or leave them unattended to.